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Mar 1, 2015

"Русская версия" part 9 - Horrific sprites and creepy start screens

Well just I decided to start the month of March the worst way = blogging about pirates. Yeah, pirates. Now as we jump on the ninth part I have to review on MORE and MORE pirates, aka the limit is endless, or simply ∞ pirates left to review on. Not really but let's go on reviewing pirate crap.

Remember that show on Nickelodeon that successfully hit the 2000s and is still airing? Well, Russian took their attempt on hijacking it again and again. A horrific sprite of SpongeBob has been hitting on this game as all Russian pirate game developers "hate" English and due to it they translate to Russian just to be sold in Russia. Heck yes, this is the reason why Russians make pirates in order to make them sold only in Russia.

Who the hell ordered them? Maybe their hacky ass brains? Or even lack of Genesis games to revive its life? WHAT? They do this just to revive Genesis' life.

You know that Sega Genesis is already dead, it died around 1996 or '97, but, about pirates, let's go on reviewing all these peed shitty pirates!

Screenshot of the main menu of a hack which has no logo on title screen but pretending to be called "SpongeBob".

Again, one level + title screen hack + sprite hack + font hack = is a typical Russian pirate game. WTF? The title screen is here logoless, you can't notice that you can see a very horrible sprite of SpongeBob as noticed here. Yes, it is so bad it can't be made on it. As a result, ignore bootlegs and buy a legitimate version of a game targeted by hacking which made this shit = Cool Spot.

Screenshot from "Mafia", a port of Mafia (2002) done by hacking a certain shooter very similar to this one.

Right now I see something...What the goddamn helly fuck? Mafia ported onto Genesis by Russians? Of course. Mafia was ported onto Genesis by hacking a first person shooter very similar to what could be a port of a popular game from 2002 released for Windows, the PlayStation 2 and the original Xbox, onto Sega Genesis despite already dead. And yes, this is true. 

Also there is a secret: opening the cartridge on a hex editor finally confirmed the year - it was possibly made in 2010 - or it could be a lie. As I saw on the wiki it said it is "possibly made in 2010", or it could however be a rumor - the hex editor might lie or be true. But it's never known! 

Russians like pirating and their game industry might be "Crapo Corp." as I say. Congratulations pirates! You are considered the worst and stupidest ports of games and remakes of shows! I say! Hahahahaha you suck pirates! Just joking, brothers. At least more pirates will come on but notice! They will kill your head and bloatware will shoot you. So don't forget to see more pirates I "caught" on the wiki, as all of them will be given an F rank. Russians, this is your last chance!

More pirates coming soon.

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